A Small But Giant Leap Forward

Good news: you already have what it takes.

Hello to all our new readers! I’m Womancake’s Editor In Chief, and I’m so glad you’re with us. Before I get to my regular Monday essay, I want to share some exciting news. I’ve accepted a position as co-Founder of the Institute for Women’s Futures, a brand-new 501c3 that is dedicated to the science of midlife women’s thriving. My esteemed co-Founders are menopause OBGYN Dr Heather Bartos, who was named one of the top meno providers by both Oprah and Mariah Shriver, and the beloved author and master brand catalyst

Alisa Kennedy Jones

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Our first project is a dazzling Menopause Rocks anthology album and playlist, which will help raise funding for a number of fellowships for various specializations in midlife women’s care at top-tier medical schools across the nation. In short, we want physicians to get WAY MORE than the typical 14 hours of menopause training they receive in medical school, so that they can serve midlife women at a much higher level, and help us thrive during this important time in our lives.

Please sign up for updates, and follow us on LinkedIn as we launch this summer. On a personal note, I’ll add that I’ve been searching for an opportunity of this kind for quite a while, and I’m thrilled to come together with my extraordinary co-Founders to help uplift our underserved population of midlife women. When we can move beyond surviving and prevailing and finally start to thrive, the positive ripple effect on our communities will be massive.

Now, in keeping with our current theme of “Power Songs”, I’ll share one that never fails to get me through the darkest of days:

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There is a moment in your favorite movie when the protagonist begins to make significant progress. This moment, which is actually a dedicated sequence, looks and feels different from everything that’s come before. The protagonist is actively learning, doing and engaging in a series of actions that move the plot (and typically their own personal journey) significantly forward.

We’re talking about the common cinema device called a montage, in which rapid edits are used to indicate jumps forward in time. A classic example is the makeover sequence featuring Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman.” You know how it goes: after being frozen out by a series of high-snobiety saleswomen in the rarified boutiques of Beverly Hills, she returns with her handsome client (Richard Fucking Gere) to shop herself silly, with the aid of his clout and his credit card. 

Montages are usually scored with a particular song, or piece of music, that serves to underline the protagonist’s state of mind. The PW montage is overlaid with the movie’s title song, which lends a playful sensuality to the events, as the scenes cut back and forth between various environments and outfits. We don’t know exactly how long Julia spends in retail heaven, but we can surmise that it’s probably hours of bliss. 

In any case, toward the end of the shopping montage, she returns to the hotel room she shares with Gere, her hands loaded with shopping bags and an army of hotel staff walking behind her, carrying the rest. She ends the montage sequence by plopping down on a chair with a big grin on her face, and we understand that she has taken a big leap forward, both in her sartorial choices and the professional upgrade they give her. Progress!

Movies are all fine and good, but who in everloving hell designed the human experience without a montage option? 

Waking up on a gray morning with thin window light seeping through, lying under the weight of your gigantic to-do list (see also: global warming, oncoming AI, a frightening election, and another possible Pandemic), how great would it be to edit ourselves forward through the psychic sludge, fueled only by our highest intentions and a kick-ass song? 

In the thick of all this world sorrow and uncertainty, marshaling the energy to keep going sometimes seems like an impossible task. But I know something true about us, and it is this: we are gritty as fuck. Something else I know is that if we’re gonna get through the next obstacle(s), we’ve got to get 100% real. No one is coming to save us with shopping. We’re gonna have to save ourselves, and right quick. 

What we need is a grit montage, and we’re gonna use “Joy,” by the great Bettye LaVette. She starts her story with a feral roar. Hear her fury? That’s as real as it gets. She’s singing about the places where she traveled in search of success in the notoriously sexist, racist and ageist music business. I want you to think on whatever is blocking your joy right now. They had no right to take my joy, I want it back! 

Take a deep breath, and relax your belly. Now stand up to your full height and feel your joints cracking. Inhale Bettye’s voice, and let it blast through your insides. Body in motion, forward motion, moving with whatever you’ve got.

Look around and grab something that needs attention: some laundry, or your dirty reading glasses, or any low-stakes menial task that will make your life easier. Do it deliberately and thoroughly. Feels good, right? Go into the kitchen and make yourself something nourishing. Nothing fancy: oatmeal if you have to. Caffeinate, if that’s your thing. Just keep your montage moving forward, gathering small bursts of strength as you go.

You might need to play the song again, and again after that, but no apologies. Just keep moving forward. Bettye fought heartache and poverty with ferocious grit and found her bliss at last, and so can you. The secret, she wants us to know, is that grit comes from self-respect, so remember this: you’re standing on a mountain of grit, mama, and you earned it by moving through every single obstacle in your path. Where do you want to be when your montage is done? Step by step, grit by grit, go to there.