How To Find Your Midlife Power Voice

The first step is crucial, and you don't wan't to miss it!

Hello to all our readers around the world! Today I’m doing something different from my usual Monday essay. An article I wrote about finding your midlife Power Voice was just published in The Midst. I’d like you to read it, and once you’re done reading, come back here and I’ll tell you a few things I didn’t put in the article:

Read it here.

Hi, welcome back! Something else I want to say on the subject is that even though you may feel unseen and unheard (to some degree) at this point in your life, it’s not too late to find your power voice, and your power.

Because of my profession (I give Power Voice trainings to groups of professional women), I’m often asked a serious question that I take seriously: if a woman wants to find her Power Voice, where should she begin?

I offered a ton of tips and strategies in the article.

But the thing I want you to understand is that the first step to finding your Power Voice in midlife and beyond is RADICAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that we should all stop working on our character flaws and personal faults (and obviously, if you’re actively hurting someone, stop it immediately! This is not a license to practice cruelty, contempt, disdain or ridicule toward others).

Radical self-acceptance simply means that we no longer allow things like perfectionism, self-blame, self-criticism and especially shame to rule our lives.

Letting go of all the toxic shame and blame that we carry, and choosing to love and accept ourselves despite our flaws, is some powerful magic (by the way: it’s one of the most effective weapons against the internal and external effects of Patriarchy).

I don’t think it’s something that can be achieved, or strived for, or aspired to. I think it’s a decision that we make again and again, moment by moment every day, until it becomes a way of life.

I know it’s not easy. I’m still working on it every single day. But I’ve seen what happens when women do it, and it’s astounding. There is no better time than right fucking now, in this later stage of our life, when we’ve acquired an enormous ocean of skills, knowledge, expertise and wisdom that the world desperately needs.

No one is going to do this for us. We have to do it for ourselves, and it may shake everything up. Our lives may look and feel quite different as we stop doing things like people-pleasing, over-apologizing, and self-sabotaging, and just get on with the fucking awesome business of embracing our full selves. Radical self-acceptance may even shift some people out of our lives, as they recognize that they can no longer manipulate or control us through our own shame. It can also open challenging and wonderful doors that, until now, may have been completely invisible.

What I’ve seen and lived through has shown me that a woman’s midlife Power Voice cannot be fully unleashed until she can practice radical self-acceptance. Again, it’s a practice, something that we commit to over and over, with full intention and deep devotion. Our Power Voices need this formidable fuel to grow strong and guide our lives.

Talk to me in the comments: how does the idea of radical self-acceptance make you feel? Is there an area of your life in which you already feel its presence? How would your life be different if you radically accepted yourself form this point forward?