Mary Chung Hayashi Powers Your Political Will
She's an award-winning politico who literally wrote the book on women in politics, and she wants you to run for office!
Hi Mary, and welcome to the Womancake interview! How is your workday going?
So far so good, thanks for asking.
Excellent. You’ve had a long career in public service, including as a highly effective and respected California State Assembly member. You are also known for writing, “Women In Politics: Breaking Down the Barriers to Achieve True Representation,” an extraordinary book that everyone should read. When you look at the state of politics in the US right now, what is most concerning to you, and what is most exciting?
I think since 2016 we’ve seen a record number of women running for office across the United States, and in the California Legislature, for the first time ever, the California State Senate has reached gender parity, so 50% of the California State Senate is currently represented by women. So it's been pretty exciting, and obviously a number of important events have led to women running for office and being interested in running for office. And talking to Emily's List, which is the largest women’s [political] training organization in the United States, their application for training has gone up by a lot in the last nine years, so that's very exciting.
At the same time, I think we have a long way to go just in terms of addressing many inequities in the United States. We definitely want to change the social, cultural and economic status of many Americans who are struggling. I think the challenges are definitely there. But overall, I'm excited about my book. It's been out for about a year and a half, [and it’s] still very relevant to what's happening [now]. I just want to be able to offer some inspiration and some source of strength and awareness to women who are thinking about politics.
It gave me such a sense of hope, and it also gave me a sense of perspective about the arc of the struggle, and how there have always been periods of “two steps forward, one step back.” It really helped me, just at the right time, to keep everything in perspective. Will you talk a little bit about the genesis of the book and how you were inspired to create it, and what you would like readers to take away from it?
You know, since retiring from public service almost 10 years ago, I've been thinking a lot about my professional journey, and how I've had the privilege of working with so many amazing women leaders. And I wanted to do this book because I wanted to elevate the conversation around women's voices in politics through interviews, and documenting their journeys and their leadership stories, like what motivated them to run for office, and what lessons we could learn from their progress, and what kind of barriers they've overcome.
What I found through these interviews is that the journey requires momentum, tenacity, resilience, and it's not just that one magic moment. My own journey to pursuing public policy and politics really stems from my own personal pain and suffering. I lost my older sister to suicide when she was 17 years old, and that led me to a lifetime of public service and mental health advocacy.
One of the goals of writing this book is to inspire other women to write their own path, [and to know] that we don't have to be controlled by our backgrounds or ethnicities or family histories. Because I came here as an immigrant, I didn't speak in English. My family never wanted to talk about my sister, Steph. So for me to go from that to running for office is a big step forward. And so I always thought, Wow, I have overcome a lot! But by interviewing these women, I've learned that no matter what their background or where they come from, they had a lot of similarities, and they all had some sort of a personal mission where they wanted to be a voice for the voiceless, and that really drove them to politics.
One of the goals of writing this book is to inspire other women to write their own path, [and to know] that we don't have to be controlled by our backgrounds or ethnicities or family histories.
Who are the women in politics right now that are most exciting to you, that you're really inspired by, that you really want to get behind?
Some of the women who are interviewed, obviously, are still in public service. Senator Lafonza Butler decided not to run [again], so she's not our US Senator anymore. But you know, somebody like Mayor Karen Bass, somebody like Fiona Ma, or Lauren Book from Florida. She's a sexual assault survivor [who] used her story to not only advocate for those who do not have a voice in the process, but [also to] help lift up that that entire community. And you know, the Florida State Legislature isn't the most friendly place. In California, we've come a long way, but a lot of these state legislative environments aren't really welcoming to gender equality issues or issues that impact women.
[Also] Connie Perez. She is the United Farm Workers executive officer, and I interviewed her because she ran for Congress, and she decided to suspend her campaign a couple months in. I really wanted to profile her, because it's okay to try and not move forward. It's okay to do that! Because I think a lot of us sort of feel like, if we don't win, or if we don't move forward, then somehow we're failing, or it's like a weakness or something. But it's really not, and it really shows that she has courage. She's just done a lot to lift up other women, and we can't be what we can't see, and for her to run and show that someone like her who grew up in the labor camp [and rose] to that level is really powerful.
You don't need a title to be inspiring. You don't need to be a US senator or governor, but in every different corner [of the country], women are making a difference just by pursuing their dreams and not listening to the naysayers.
I found so many stories of inspiration in your book, not just in an intellectual way, but in an emotional way. It has so much candor, because the women chose to speak from a place of deep honesty, with the intention of transparency. During your political career, what was the highest moment and the lowest moment along the way?
[In] my book I talked a lot about coming from very traditional Korean culture. I think it's different now, but my parents are from that generation [that] went through the Korean War. Women [were] to be seen but not heard. We were all raised to be very respectful, silent, good girls. This meant keeping thoughts and opinions to myself, and any direct communication, even the direct eye contact that I'm making with you, is not encouraged. This is why, when my older sister passed away, she was struggling with depression, but she never told anyone, because we would never discuss that in our family.
So coming from that culture, and putting myself out there and going against everything that I was taught not to be, can you imagine, I [had] to call strangers for money, you know, like, that's not the kind of behavior that is praised in our culture. We weren't supposed to do things like that. And then also, I talk a lot about the qualification gap, because, and this isn't just with Asian American or Asian women or Korean women, but we don't really see ourselves as qualified to run for office, even though we may be qualified, because of the messages that we get. So it was really hard during my first campaign, when you don't really have any experience. It was very challenging for me personally, because I had to overcome a lot of my own internal struggles with what a good girl should be.
And you know, you're supposed to be ambitious, you're supposed to be competitive when you're in politics. But when I exhibited those qualities, I was often penalized for that, people said, “She's very aggressive!” Being an Asian woman, too, there's a lot of stereotypes about what we should be. It was very hard, because people would criticize me for being very competitive. I was very ambitious, and I [would] often think, Well, what else am I supposed to do when I’m running for public office? [In the book] I talk about some specific examples of how you can really advance public policy issues that you care about, but the sexism and the racism doesn't stop even then.
So I struggled quite a bit. And when I get together with women legislators or former legislators, we talk about how when you're campaigning, you're around people all the time, you're being interviewed, you're out events. But you just feel really lonely, because you're just constantly on the go [and] you feel like you're not really connecting on that level that you want to.
So I would say that there really isn't a single moment where I felt like, Oh wow, this is my lowest. But when I think about my service in government, and I also served on the statewide Mental Health Commission as well, I really understand why women have such a hard time making that decision to just go for it. Men tend to run because they seek a leadership position, and that's totally acceptable [in society]. On the other hand, we run because we want to solve a problem, or we have an issue that we deeply care about, but people have double standards and that's really difficult, even after you win. I don't want to discourage people, though, because it's definitely worth it, but it's also something that you really have to want.
Men tend to run because they seek a leadership position, and that's totally acceptable [in society]. On the other hand, we run because we want to solve a problem, or we have an issue that we deeply care about, but people have double standards and that's really difficult, even after you win. I don't want to discourage people, though, because it's definitely worth it, but it's also something that you really have to want.
By the way, I want our mutual friend,
, who writes the Substack, The Female Body Politic, to run for office sometime!Oh my gosh, she would be amazing! Yeah, I agree.
I think we should stay on her about that! Okay, I'm going to pivot to some Womancake questions now. Our theme of 2025 is “Increasing Older Women's Visibility.” What is the area of your life in which you feel the most visible, and the one in which you feel the least visible, and why?
Most visible, I think being in that role of sending out press releases about every accomplishment [as an elected official], to transitioning this role now where I'm working more as an advisor to different causes, I definitely think about your question a lot. My favorite project that I did this past year is authoring the diversity in public health workforce paper for the National Hispanic Medical Association. That was really inspiring and empowering, and I got to present it to their board and I really just loved it.
I do miss being able to play a leadership role, and provide a greater input on that level. But at the same time I like being able to advise different clients on how to improve their political program or government relations strategy. So I wouldn't say that I feel least visible, because you play a different role. But you know, without naming specific people or projects, not too long ago a male colleague did say that I was too competitive. And it really makes me think it's a euphemism for threatening.
You know, our California State Treasurer, Fiona Ma, and I served together in the legislature, and people used to mix us up, because they really haven't seen that many Asian people, I guess, and we were the only two Asian women in the legislature together at that time. She's running for lieutenant governor now. She's going to be our next lieutenant governor. Just a great person. She did a lot in preventing domestic violence in that space. But, I mean, just as recently as last month, someone confused me for Fiona, Ma. So it's still happening. Those are moments where I do feel like, wow, we still have a long way to go.
I'm sorry to hear that. It's disappointing, and yet predictable, unfortunately. Do you have any daily wellness habits or practices that are meaningful to you?
I go to the gym almost every day, and I run or I walk a minimum of five miles a day. That is my routine. The only time I don't get to do that is when I'm traveling or if I have back to back meetings or something like that, but I go almost every day.
I’m sure you have great cardiovascular health. What is your favorite guilty pleasure treat?
Do you know what mochi is? It's a Japanese treat. It's like a rice cake, and then it's got this red bean inside. I can not eat dessert, like ice cream. I'm pretty disciplined about those things. But if you put, like, a little mochi in front of me, I'll eat it.
I love mochi, especially red bean! Do you have a favorite power song that we can put on our Power Songs Playlist?
I love everything from Lady Gaga. I've been listening to the soundtrack from her movie with Bradley Cooper, so I've been listening to “Shallow” a lot lately.
How does wisdom manifest through you at this stage of your life?
Well, I tell women that if they want to do something, they should just do it. From a young age we're taught to diminish our skills and our achievements, whereas boys are taught to value things like assertiveness, confidence, self promotion. These traits are very important to a career in politics. I think when women think about politics and running for office, they often [feel like], “I don't have that experience.” Or, “I'm not good at raising money.” They often think about what they lack. So I like to shift that thinking to what you bring to the table. I think women often underestimate what they bring.
Agreed. What is an aspect of your character that you have grown to love, and one that you still struggle with?
I struggle with a lot of cultural issues, but one of the things that I want to do something about, but it's really hard to change, is likability double-standards. Studies show that when the press, the media mentions a woman's appearance in any way, whether it's positive or negative, their likability plummets, because it reminds them of their unconscious bias that women can't be leaders, and that does not exist for men. [Women] receive unjustified scrutiny, [and] with our good girl upbringing women are not encouraged to be strong and assertive. I just wish that we could change that conversation, in the corporate space, too.
I think that I'm always able to to lift women up in any setting, through my work now. I have a client who's an executive within a company, and I do a lot of work sort of helping her improve her confidence and leadership skills and just reassuring sometimes that you didn't do anything wrong. You know that women second guess themselves a lot.
I know exactly! Would you like to share anything about your perimenopause or menopause experience that would be helpful or compelling to a woman who's going through it?
Oh gosh, it was such a shocker. I think I'm probably at the end of [the] menopausal phase. When you go see a medical professional, and I have a really good doctor, but it just seemed like the solutions to problems are really limiting. And my mom passed away a few years ago, and we weren't really close. She struggled with a lot of mental health issues, and so she's really never talked to me or my sister about any of this. I think it's really hard because in our culture this isn't something that you talk about with people. So just the silence and the lack of information that we have access to makes it really difficult to treat. I really had to [do] more research on my own, which wasn't really helpful, because you have to be careful about what you find on the internet. I'm waiting for someone to offer some more insight.
For what it's worth, in my coaching practice, I work with a lot of female founders in the healthcare space and the biotech space, and I can tell you that there are solutions coming down the pike, better solutions. But like all other sectors and industries that are headed by women, the funding really isn't there yet. But it's going to happen, and things will get better. My belief is, the more we can speak about our issues, the better, because we need to make more noise in order to get funding for these issues. Investors need to recognize the massive payoff.
And I think the new generation of women have been raised with a better message. Like, you don't have to be a good girl. You can speak up!
Exactly! Lastly, will you share some pop culture, a book, a movie, a podcast, a TV show that you're currently enjoying?
One of the ways that I relax is to watch “Will and Grace” reruns on Disney, like I recently subscribed to Disney just so I can watch it again. I'm in my late 50s now, and I was telling my nephew, “I'm watching Will and Grace reruns again!” And he's like, “What's that?” So that's what I've been enjoying at the moment.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
What a great interview! I love her. I had to laugh (ruefully) when she talked about people mixing her up with Fiona Ma. Whenever I have worked anywhere, if there's another petite woman around my age with dark hair, we are always mistaken for each other. That isn't too surprising when you are a restaurant server, but when you're in a corporate setting, it is shocking. Like, are you even really looking at us? Or are we just "the marketing girl"? Grr.