Renovation Revelation
According to science, women and everyone I know, this could be great!
What if you could enter your own brain with a hammer and saw and tool belt and move stuff around? What if you could tear down all the people-pleasing behaviors, and replace them with sturdy self-respect? What if you could break through the walls of fear and doubt, and allow genuine confidence to come in? What if you could shut off that creaking, squeaking hamster-wheel of anxiety, and enjoy the lovely hum of peace and wellbeing?
I’m a big fan of neuroscientist Dr Lisa Mosconi’s book, “The Menopause Brain”, and all the work she’s doing on behalf of women’s mental and physical health during this time in our lives. Over at her research facility at Weill Cornell Medicine, her teams have shown a stark difference in the brian scans of pre- and post- menopausal women, evidence of a type of renovation that can have profound changes on our way of being ourselves in the world.
I don’t know about you, but being myself in the world has meant a lot of time spent on the aforementioned anxiety hamster wheel. Not gonna say it’s been my happy place, but it’s been, I don’t know, familiar, and therefore predictable? And therefore less scary than just, I don’t know, trusting that everything’s gonna be OK?
But now, as I enter late perimenopause, I’m thinking all the time about this brain renovation going on inside my very own head. And mostly what I’m thinking is that I want to do it intentionally. I don’t want to leave this crucial exercise up to randomness. I figure if I focus on things like peace, calm, self-regulation, mental clarity and emotional harmony, it’s bound to help me build those things into my new, renovated brain patterns.
So I’m hunting around for inspiration. I’m making, let’s call it, an “emotional and intellectual mood board” for my brain renovation. I’ve collected stories from older women in my life who are on the other side. They describe feeling SO much calmer, and more able to meet tough challenges with grace. They report being more self-confident in almost every area of their lives, including work and sex. They also know how to say HELL NO to things that are bad for them, and walk away without second-guessing themselves.
I’ve also been listening to the way they talk about their lives, and I can hear in their voices that some of them are still struggling with how to tell their own story. Some of them have complex trauma in their past, as I do, and it’s compelling and instructive to hear the different ways they discuss these things.
As I’m mapping my new brain renovation, I’m also mapping my new Power Voice, because it also needs an upgrade (BTW, this is the work I do with clients in my day job). What good is all that renovating if I can’t share it with the people I care about? When the younger folks in my life ask me for experience-based advice, I want to speak about my experiences in a way that is clear, concise and compelling. Not long-winded, confusing or boring. I don’t want to bore them, I want to inspire them. That’s how I’ll know my renovation is working.
On Wednesday September 30th I’m leading a Power Voice for Midlife Women training on Zoom. I’m going to show you how to warm up your voice and take care of it, and I’ll also give you some communication styles that will help you make maximum impact in your life. If you’re a paid subscriber, below the paywall you’ll find a code for 20% off the ticket price. A full event description is at the ticket link:
